The blue is the middle. The battle. The anti coherent existence.
I’m supposed to watch it from a distance, separate myself through persistence.
I am unable.
The Blue is my watershed, and loud, Red left and Green right war at the peak while the pull from the left is strong. A rolling storm cloud thick from behind, I look toward the Green, for the light, to your face, and the reflection in your eyes tells me what I already know.
It is gaining. I cannot escape it.
A tidal wave, an avalanche, the day before the flu. The first pang of a kidney stone. That moment between banging your knee on a desk and the arrival of the pain.
A slight delay but most definitely inevitable.
I am not supposed to be IT.
The darkness is its own entity.
IT is of itself and not me,
But it tells me it is me and it is quite convincing.
Without further progress I am convinced I'll need an exorcism.
Though it seems to be a good idea, it hasn't quite worked for me yet. https://blog.bulletproof.com/heart-rate-variability-training/