The dusty line between my reality and my dreams.

Deep dark blue abyss

Tranquil and terrifying.

Soulful wish of draining my feelings.

Muddy waters filled with confusion, holding hands with shame.


Floating in the grey zone where,
The idea of death makes me long for life,
and the thought of life makes me find comfort in death.


I desire to become a wave.
Part of a whole in the ocean,
curling to the shore and disappearing.

I scare myself with a thought,
the sleep from which I know I can't wake up from,
will be my best one yet.

I fantasise of the day where I can close my eyes,
and let them remain so.
The comfort of knowing I don't have to experience life as, I.

The bright yellow of the sun no longer makes me joyful,

Selfish, I'm selfish.

The sun should not be showing it self to someone like me.


The shine should not be upon my room.
Someone out there is better suited for the sun.
To live every moment, without imagining another one, to damage it.

I wish to exist, only not as me.

I draw my curtains, reject it's warmth.
I don't deserve it.