the romance moves slowly on camera film; a lover crashing through pvc to kiss pavement, windows behind relay a tragedy captured with ***** lights.
ii.
i transcribe scripts to my bathroom mirror.
i see no Winslet.
green in my eyes mark an imperfect creature, no feeder's hand to bite.
i speak to my reflection in self indulgence.
iii.
i don't have a role to play.
who i am is minors and leads of movies shaped by the past,
but gas on the celluloid makes the memory blur.
feelings died with the character dead in the past.
iv.
i just watch people die.
casablanca; temporary love rejected when the bone and the heart shatters.
v.
i don't know who i'll become. i don't know if i'll become.
i used to frequent /r/watchpeopledie a lot before it got banned. i was obsessed with a video of a man falling through a pvc entryway. been on meds and writing has been frustrating. all the reason i had to live has kind of assimilated over the past few months, and as i'm "supposedly getting better", the people who are "in the wrong" have it better. there's nothing. nothing. nothing. why live? i wrote this in a movie theater bathroom.