You pick me up in your car I'm already waiting outside Shopping and lunch, you suggest I think it's the perfect plan.
As you drive, we catch up (I hate that we've been apart) You tell me stories About people I don't know Jokes I don't understand But try to laugh at All the same.
Somewhere, on the way Your car splutters And fails to start on the hill You're annoyed, say we'll be stuck here I am secretly thrilled But then worry That you don't want to be with me For that long.
It clearly shows on my face As you reassure me Put your hand on my leg (I wish you would keep it there) And tell me help is on its way.
Your Mum arrives As you're calling a repairman She calls me your girlfriend I don't correct her And stand close to you When your phone call ends.
I try not to read into it When you don't move away (After all, we're used to being close) But still savour the warm smile Your Mum gives me Before she drives away.
We window shop for hours Slip back into our old rhythm I reach for your hand Instinctively But you move yours away Before mine has reached it And I'm left grabbing At the air Trailing behind you.
We try on stupid hats And laugh and laugh (Is it weird that we're friends now?) You're in a great mood And I'm proud to be with you As you put on a show That passers by Stop and smile at. (It's awful being just your friend now)
We have lunch at a bistro Our table is small and intimate And our knees touch Under the table It makes me blush but I love it.
You say you have something You want to tell me My heart leaps And flutters. I take a sip of milkshake To avoid saying something Stupid.
You look me in the eye And tell me That you've met someone And she's perfect You couldn't be happier You have a smile fixed on your face.
The milkshake Curdles with my stomach acid My mouth is dry I think I'm going to be sick And excuse myself.
You don't notice That I'm quiet for the rest Of our lunch. You speak enough for The both of us Telling me stories That I don't want to hear.
My ears ring Like mourning bells And I feel dizzy. My face is pale Under the artificial lights I wish I was anywhere But here.
You drive me home Thank me for the Nice afternoon we had. I go in and know That I can never see you Again.
As I am not your friend And never can be As I am not quite over you And I'm hurting More than I'd admit.