I'd hear the word
And recoil from it
The thought of prayer
Left me disgusted
How hard it is
To face each day
While gripping nihilism
So intensely that
Your knuckles turn white

What's the point
Of goals and dreams
If everything
Means nothing
And when you die
It's just like it was
Before you were born
You don't exist and
You don't even know it

Why waste my time
Doing anything of value
When I can drown myself
In drugs and *****
And still expire
Just the same as you

Yet once in a while
That question would
Push it's way into
My consciousness
"How could all of this be meaningless?"

The seed was planted
And as it grew
It broke through
That existential dread
Leaving just enough room
For hope to crawl in

I started to think that
Maybe there's more
To all of this chaos
Than anything I could
Ever comprehend
And who am I
To be so sure there's not

Then slowly my
Perspective shifted
My mind was open
And I no longer
Viewed the world
As upside down

Though the universe
Will always remain
A mystery
And the truth is something
I will never catch
For today,
I find myself okay
With "maybe..."