Normally all they expect from me is strength. They expect the bravest face with the brightest smile.
But 2019 has been throwing more than just hurdles my way.
2019 has been creating more than a disruption to me.

2019 started out with the biggest amount of hope, finally I was going to face most of my dreams and definitely at long last make sure that I complete them.

But when it came, I got a stab to the heart, losing the one person who I thought would get to see my empire rise.
And I understand that relationships end, I get that we need to let go of toxic behaviors but when she walked away. Everyone that held a special significant place in my heart walked out.

I became overwhelmed with pain to the extent that I became toxic.
I tried to run to someone who I thought would stay there but they just couldn't bear to watch me so fragile and bare, they walked out. Making sure that the remaining components of my heart turned to dust.

My environment grew dark, People started fighting for some form of job security and I took it in me to carry their pain while worrying for myself. I survived, they didn't so while relieve was evident in my face their pain was eating at my soul.

I had other hopes, It'll work out somehow.
But the deeper into the months we get the more drained I get.

I am not okay
2019 is taking a huge toll on me.