i thought we said goodbye
six months ago
but obviously
the way you hugged me today
and whispered that you miss me more than i could ever know...

there's something we haven't said yet
and maybe we need to

because i feel the same way.

i haven't said a word in such a very long time
i don't even know where to start
i want to be someone in your life
i want to hear and know

i just

don't know how

i don't know how to love you anymore,
without dragging up memories
i don't know how to look at you anymore,
and not like what i see

you made my type

i'm honestly afraid
that i'm not as over it
as i tell myself
and that the only thing keeping my heart stitched together
in one piece
is the fact that i don't hardly see you anymore.

you know all my secrets
all my faults
and yet somehow you're a stranger now

but if i picked up the phone and called
you wouldn't be
and that
that is what makes me afraid.

so yes
i feel like we are leaving something undone
one final goodbye
sitting down to watch the broken sunset
of parted ways
together

so that i can finally look you in the eye
and be at peace
with what you are to me

but

i don't know if i'm ready for that yet.

yes i have moved on
i don't love you like that anymore
it aches
sometimes
like today
and not a day goes by that i don't notice the gap
you left behind you
but usually it's alright

i'm not who i was
and you're not who you were
and i know that things are better this way
by far.

so i'm not holding on
i'm not looking back
i'm just wondering how to be friends
because right now its really easy to say
"i miss you"
and mean it, week in, week out
and then do nothing else to change

but i remember the days, when i first started to know you
when i said to myself
this girl
she's a keeper
as a lover or as friend
just
don't ever lose this one

but i did

and that hurts

and i don't know if it can do anything else but hurt
because some things...

                     ...some things were never meant to be.

is this one of them?