Lately my thoughts haven't made much sense
Seem lost and scattered among the deaf
Shown to the blind
Haven't been able to picture one yet
Like my first child
They died before making it to daylight  
You heard seeing is believing right
Keep my eyes closed to miss the view of my depressed state of mind
What's the point of talking to those who pretend
So I sit quiet and alone
God has already called on all my friends


Strike a match  
Flick a bic
Make some light cause this is all dark ****
Am I the only one to sit with my eyes closed
Thinking how easy it would be if I made my last breathe my last breathe
Leave the note you wrote years ago saying goodbye
Don't be selfish by getting mad
I was ready for my time to end
Breaking the cuffs
Snapping the chains
If it wasn't meant to be then good would've stopped me
Right?


Would shake hands and say goodbye
But my left is wiping sweat
While the right one puts in  work  
I tried everything from eight cokes and countless lines
And still can't find my smile
So why fight the feeling
I don't matter
You been blowing me off like I'm the dirt on  Mr. Knowles shoulder
Put me in a closed space with your sister
I'll hit her hard
Make you a auntie slash ex step mom
Now you have something to go sit and tell
Let me get the door for you
I'll act like I'm over you
Yell, scream and cuss
Then slam the door
As I hit the floor
Cause only then will I break
Cry out asking God why