It’s all manifested
I can trace back to then
I was just a boy
Trusting my heart
Stumbling upon life’s hards truth
This parasite burrowed, deeper and deeper as I aged
Living in the dark corners of my mind
Somehow I found it to be a friend
It was solid
My whole life happiness was borrowed
Time would run its course for the things I cherished
youth, loved ones, crushes, anything that made me smile
Where did I go wrong?

this little buddy though
I still had him
We shared loss,
We learned from it

Laughter, voices, embraces
All Pigments of fading memories.
Everything just leaves
Scrambling through grieve to make sense of it all but i just can’t.
Love must never die.
Still,
We must.
To celebrate old times is a toast to a funeral.
When does right and wrong become apparent in these states
When does insanity and normality become neighbors
Fearful, reflection and complexion go their separate ways
Weak and fragile I weigh my knees
Cold and motionless
My friend had reached my heart.
Feeding off everything I had left.
I became numb.
Every day was yesterday and tomorrow was today.
Slowly, I lifted myself
I kept falling
In a hot sweat
I lost what was most important
I lost myself

This is my life, embedded pain.
A screech rings through my head.
In the hazy fog I hear a feint scream
Begging and pleading for me.
There’s a flickering light
I feel my heart begin to pound
I can almost touch it.

Until the screech echoes again

I’m living in a war
hiding under the beautiful eyes I’ve been gifted

Sleepless nights have restitched my tone
I hide the agonizing sorrow like a gun

Truly listen
You may just find me