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Feb 2019
For a moment I forgot.
A beautiful moment I imagined you would be there, too.
In that moment you were breathing, and everyone was having a good time.
A loving moment we were all smiles, photographing memories.
A moment of peace that nothing was wrong,
For a moment we were whole.

The following moment came with a sting of pain and tearful eyes; for when that moment passed I realized none of that would ever be.

How could I forget?

The following moment felt as if it had happened all over again.
The harsh reality of the moment that everything was real.
That following moment stole any new memories we wanted to make with you.
In that following moment a piece of me had left again because there would never be any future with you. One I wish we had; if only to let you know you were loved.

In this very moment, my heart broke for the second time for you, because in that following moment, you were gone again.

    Natalie M. Lawrence
My oldest brother died in 2017. A couple months after I actually was speaking with my sisters about taking a huge sibling photo. Including my two siblings from my father's side since we hadn't taken a sibling photo with everyone since we were little and even then never with my new found siblings. I had said that and it hit me. We would never have that photo because he was gone and I felt so guilty saying it to my sisters and because I had forgotten for just a moment. It hurt so bad that I went to write in my journal.
This is in honor of my big brother, Jeffrey! I miss and love you!
Natalie M Lawrence
Written by
Natalie M Lawrence  32/F
     Fawn and Crow
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