Jan 2019
i am buried
in the mountains of things you said to me
words upon words
stories upon stories
how much
was true?
i don't think i'll ever know
your truths and lies are both a mystery to me
so i
di s t a n c e
myself from the words
but i will always be wrapped up in it no matter how much
i want to be free
i'm part of those words now
when words tip out of your mouth my name will be there
good memories tainted with disgust
i went from a nice person who did a few rude things
to an *******
to a monster
what point did it start becoming a lie?
at what point did the person you view in your mind stop becoming me
or it is possible that your words are so influential that i have now become what you said
or has it always been that way
i don't know
it feels wrong to be scared
in the mountains of things you said to me
words upon words
stories upon stories
how much
was true?
i don't think i'll ever know
your truths and lies are both a mystery to me
so i
di s t a n c e
myself from the words
but i will always be wrapped up in it no matter how much
i want to be free
i'm part of those words now
when words tip out of your mouth my name will be there
good memories tainted with disgust
i went from a nice person who did a few rude things
to an *******
to a monster
what point did it start becoming a lie?
at what point did the person you view in your mind stop becoming me
or it is possible that your words are so influential that i have now become what you said
or has it always been that way
i don't know
it feels wrong to be scared
god, it's been months, but i've always been so affected by people's words about me, so being called a monster and having that behavior justified by one of my closest friends has been a wild ride. i can't help feeling so alone and awful when i think about it. i really am starting to feel like i've always been a bad person and i've worked so hard to like myself again that this just feels like i've been pushed back down the stairs of progress. i just want to be told i'm a good person and believe it.
