you poured gold over my scars
caressed them with tenderness
held me while I wept that snowy afternoon
destroyed and recreated
you told me I didn't have to see myself
as broken, despite the fact
I felt shattered and torn
fragile as glass or porcelain

I've fought myself for years
lost to the demon inside that told me
become so thin you disappear
walk in the tundra until you freeze
make yourself bleed to death
I only loved myself when you held me
loved my body because it was yours then
that it could feel your touch and breath

now I fell and broke with a crash
my jagged pieces formed a puzzle
I can still be useful and full of good
I've picked up the pieces one by one
put myself back together this time
ignored the voices wanting pain
became my own gold and watched it
sparkle as I rebuild myself