I start sweating
My breath mild and heavy
My hands shaking, My palms sweaty
I'm not steady, Feeling dizzy
I'm getting uneasy, I'm going crazy
I get a panic attack for having a panic attack
At controlling myself i ****
Whatever I'm holding i tightly clutch
It's going to be a bumpy ride
My whole body starts trembling like a raging tide
I stealthily try controlling myself as i check my side
I panic again fearing them seeing me trying to hide
I'm all wet soaked in sweat and frightened like a child
I'm losing my breath my temperature is rising up
I loosen my cloths and between my friends i try to widen the gap
I try convincing myself to stand up
I cant look up
I try to loosen up
I feel a tear in my eye
I'm hurting but i have to lie
I force myself to calm down
Gulp air and breath in out a few times
Quickly wipe of the tear
Smile and pretend to be in cheers
When deep inside I'm filled with tears
A grown up full of fears
Fears if the demons within me
Fear of the me inside me
Tears from the pain i can't explain
What i face everyday they can never withstand
What i go through they will never understand
I have Anxiety! A disorder you've never had(heard)

Akwana Wa Odera
@therealakwana
© 2018