To the man who broke me,
People kept telling me I let you do it. That I shouldn't have let you hold me close when I knew you were so clumsy. I wanted to scream in opposition. I wanted desperately for them to see from my perspective. I wished upon a thousand stars for someone anyone to just listen and tell me it was not my fault. Days went by, then weeks, months, a year, two years. I was drowning in their words, thick as molasses. Frantically clawing at the truth trying to keep my grasp on reality. My inner demons with jagged, crooked smiles ripped me from my goal. I was swept away plummeting to the bottom of a sea of lies. You can find me there trying to swim to the surface only to find a cement bag tied to my leg impeding any progress. With each attempt I fall tired and more submissive to the blame that surrounds me. Until I found it easier to lay down and let their words become my reality. My life became an ocean of blame all laid neatly upon my shoulders. So now when I apologize for everything just know its years of conditioning and now that I've finally found people who assure me that it was not my fault know that I'm trying to believe it isn't but the voices in my head won't stop screaming that it is.