I don’t even know where to begin
My body trembles as I write about it
I have given up on everything
I have ******* myself over
Everyone has moved away from me
All doors are no longer welcoming
I’ve locked mine up
I only see through my window
I wonder how life would’ve been
If I tried harder and took a risk
All I ever do is wonder and regret
It’s the same every morning
Same routine
Same thoughts.
I can’t do this anymore
I want a miracle
I want to try
I want to be happy
But
I’m stuck
I can’t get out
I just can’t
I love seeing those I care about be happy
I just wish they can see me be happy too
The year is almost over
The season has changed
I’m still the same
I’m overwhelmed, tired
and exhausted
of nothing
I don’t want to be here anymore
Sometimes I feel like leaving
Other days I hope to get past it
When will I get past it?
I don’t want to be lonely anymore
I’m tired of not loving myself
I don’t know how to fix it
I want to move forward
I don’t want to stay stuck in the past
But I’ve given up
I’m no longer trying
I’m no longer motivated
I have no goals
Should I just disappear?
I don’t think it will affect anyone
I’ll be out of the way
They will get over it
And I’m fine with that
I don’t consider myself a good person
It makes sense as to why I deserve this
So death,
will you accept me?
I feel like my life no longer has meaning
I want to go
Take my pain
Take me
I don’t care anymore.