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b e mccomb
Poems
Sep 2018
toxic
it hurts
a sharp jabbing
pain in my
lower side
just above my
stomach
i only feel it
when i start
to think
too hard
it often aches
throughout the day
snakes downward and wraps
itself around my legs
squeezes my muscles
so tight i can’t sleep
the pain
screams
that i am not
good enough
that i never
have been and
never will be
good enough
there are purple
bags under my eyes
i keep them full
at all times
full of
what?
full of
words
words like
“no”
“can’t”
“want”
“practical”
“best”
“should”
“plan”
heavy
words
that pull my
head down
so that i focus
on the floor
my own feet
and the thick
vine winding
up from the
ground trying
to choke me out
lately every
step has been hard
trying to pull
the roots up
so i can begin
to move forward
it’s slow
and the pain
and the words
make it slower
and i am tired
so tired
all i want is to
stop moving
just for a
bit to rest
afraid of
what i know
about myself
and how if i
pause and
slow down
my body will
come to a
complete halt
and more of those
dead weight words
might tumble out
words like
“wrong”
“want”
“work”
“will”
“can”
“happy”
“no”
until i am buried
under an avalanche
of double negatives
and wishful thinking
and still the pain
keeps on throbbing
as i keep swallowing
down my toxic words
copyright 8/27/18 by b. e. mccomb
#toxic
#words
#pain
Written by
b e mccomb
25/F/chasing dreams
(25/F/chasing dreams)
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