I reek of new living
the silence of sobriety is deafening
Can't stand my heart beating
Chest rising, finally breathing
Falling together at the seams for the lack of grieving

Jump out of my skin at the sound of my name
Hearing a whisper of enthusiasm scares my wandering brain
I am standoffish but I'm not timid nor meek
You say you're here for me but I'm not who I seemed
Am I better because of my brand new living?

No, I am not new in the least
I pretend in my imagination but I'm the same old me
Weak
Time to stop writing
Time to go to sleep