Often times I don’t know how I am.
That one question holds so many possibilities,
And I can’t narrow them down to one.
How are you?
I’m not sure to be honest.
There are days I feel a raging inferno,
Where fire burns my insides,
making me curse the world that’s brought me to this point.
But other times, it’s a tidal wave of sorrow.
In those times I can’t even muster the energy to swim.
I’d rather let the world drown me than care about it for another second.
The worst times though are the happy ones.
They usually follow the wave and flame.
It’s like my emotions decided that they’ve had enough of one extreme,
And that it’s time to swing to the next.
I know these happy feelings won’t last-
As soon as that song ends,
As soon as I return to reality,
I will return to nothing.
Because I know this happiness is not a reflection of how I truly feel,
But a valiant effort to hide the storms inside of me.
So when people ask me,
How are you?
I say I’m fine.
I’ve gotten quite good at hiding anything,
Everything.
I am scared to acknowledge the natural disaster that is my soul,
For I fear that one day it will be my end.