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Jul 2018
a floor wet, full
red. a bed freshly *******.
a body bare and sickle. she
is visible; a living thing to crawl inside.
that arrow in the sky
lands between my crystal eyes;
iā€™d been lying in your sheets, staring
at the blue above the ceiling.
my edges taut into a ball, blacking out
the small sun rolling on my neck.
every fibre is obliterated, i feel everything
and nothing. gone.

i absolve you.
i cannot break apart anymore.
i am guilt, you are guilt,
our joint guilt is dust to the light air.
i absolve
each tread; red-eyed, dissolving.
you are a tiny god
wrapped around the wounds.
am i strong? or stupid? or both?
you were my idol for so long. now i
worship me. i make the judgment and create
new things. i can be ready for love again.
forgiveness is hard.
šš‹šš’šš•šš•šš¢
(M/UK)   
  222
   Shahnaz
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