A vat of toxic thought
is stirring in my brain.
Suffocating, paralyzing
and driving me insane.

It's been awhile since doubt has
corroded conscious thought.
Plagued and convoluted,
insightful - yet distraught.

The memories are beautiful,
the skies so blue and pink.
The abstract conversations
without even one drink.

The softness of skin contact,
and the kiss that draws me close,
Adrenaline so constant;
it had my brain engrossed.

But what of all the struggles:
the crying - all the tears?
The boring, simple lifestyle:
the overgrowth of fears?

All the dinners wasted
ignoring everyone around;
while staring at a scrolling screen
and not making a sound.

The arguments to argue,
and to never admit wrong,
the lack of admiration,
and the gazes were all wrong.

The persistent ambiguity..
Absence of determination..
The lack of loving sentiments
and the grand insinuations.

What of all the struggles,
do they outweigh all the skies?
Do they stomp over the memories?
Cut each and every tie?

A vat of toxic thought
is stirring in my brain,
Comparing, captivating,
and driving me insane.