You tell me “It’s just a bad day”
If it’s just a bad day then why did I cry myself to sleep yesterday?
And the day before why did I find myself on the bathroom floor holding a blade to my wrist?
Was that “just a bad day” too?
And this weekend when I saved the suicide hotline number in my phone just to be safe
Was I just having another bad day?
And when I couldn’t sit through class because my throat closed in due to yet another panic attack
And when I was called to the office because someone noticed my scars
Maybe I was just having a bad day.
And maybe this is normal, because it’s just a bad day
And maybe there's actually nothing wrong with me because everyone has their ups and downs
So maybe when I stay up late and consider whether I should use a rope or a knife
Maybe it’s just a bad night?
And when this continues day after day week after week and month after month
Maybe it's just a bad life?
Please don’t tell me “its just a bad day”
Because bad days are for normal people with normal lives
Because actually it’s just a bad brain
Don’t tell me It will be okay and get better eventually
Because my serotonin levels are not going to go up overnight.