There’s always been a bubble
between me and my friends
i can’t tell who put it up
some days it feels thinner
like I can finally be a part
of conversations
of memories
and I feel
happy

too many days it’s
suffocating
cutting me off from air
and support
and friends
conversations float through
but I know I’m not a part
so I push myself
into the corner
and wrap my bubble around myself
like a blanket
like a hug
suffocating myself in
the most peaceful way possible