I consistently underestimate the importance of relationships in my life.
Perhaps it is not that I've always been alone,
perhaps it is that I drive everyone I love away.
I find it difficult to give my attention to people,
especially when I feel there is much to do.
I always seem to feel that way.
I am too critical of others.
I will never forget (forgive?) a trespass against my person,
and will excuse any trespass I render afterward
as a direct result of the original wrong toward me.
I am vengeful,
and I am good at it.

My family loves me and has never left.
I can't understand why
when I'm not able to give them all I should.

I'm not at the top -- not yet,
but I'm higher than I have ever been,
and many people I love have fallen away.

It is lonely here.