Apr 2018
Do you remember those days before when we were care free?
Before when nothing mattered other than what adventure we'd go on next?
Before we had to worry about real world problems?
Before we made our social media accounts?
Before we encountered that first bully?
Before mental illness bothered us?
Before we felt like we were drowning?
Before we slit our wrists that first time?
Before we got so depressed that we tried to take our own lives so many times that we lost track and failing each time and each failed time adding to that collection of scars on our bodies that, if we ever get out of this black hole, will one day look back on and wonder how everything got so bad, but maybe I won't, maybe I will be successful.
Before when nothing mattered other than what adventure we'd go on next?
Before we had to worry about real world problems?
Before we made our social media accounts?
Before we encountered that first bully?
Before mental illness bothered us?
Before we felt like we were drowning?
Before we slit our wrists that first time?
Before we got so depressed that we tried to take our own lives so many times that we lost track and failing each time and each failed time adding to that collection of scars on our bodies that, if we ever get out of this black hole, will one day look back on and wonder how everything got so bad, but maybe I won't, maybe I will be successful.
I WANT TO START BY SAYING THAT I'M NOT CURRENTLY IN THIS MINDSET. I have however been this bad if not worse. When I was in year 9 (aged 14 years) I experienced bullying and I wouldn't really say it was the bullying that led me to that point, but it certainly didn't help. I felt a lot of hate towards myself as a person; not my self image, but my self concept. The bullying I'd then hold against myself and blame myself for and /that/ is what got me to where I was.
3 years later, I still struggle with depression, however I've recently started CBT (I'm getting it for depression, anxiety & chronic stress), so I'm going to see how that goes. I really hope it works. If you're struggling please seek help; take this from a girl who waited almost 4 years.
3 years later, I still struggle with depression, however I've recently started CBT (I'm getting it for depression, anxiety & chronic stress), so I'm going to see how that goes. I really hope it works. If you're struggling please seek help; take this from a girl who waited almost 4 years.
