He said he loved me but he never showed it. He said he missed me but I hardly ever saw him. He said he said he said, too many words. I lost all my bets. Was it all just lies? I guess I'm not the type that you like; I'm too silly, too innocent, too much of a dreamer. You like your women filthy, experienced, disposable *** dealers. He has a machine heart I couldn't cut through. Day through day, sad and lost, I made myself believe I could be his muse. I like the idea that he had good intentions, he just couldn't take responsibilities, too much tension. And I wonder if there was truly any feeling there. And I wonder how could someone change the way they always were.