It's been 3 months since his passing
The loss is starting to set in
I feel lost when I think about it
I try not to but at times like these it sinks in
Nobody understands how I am  feeling
I don't want to deal with family
Not my siblings,  cousins,  aunts,  uncles not no one
I just want to be left alone to suffer in solitude
My sister keeps trying to change me
She doesn't give up and she's making me angry
I can't stay here much longer.
I still have thoughts of suicide as escape forever
Then I have thoughts of just leaving for a long period of time
Away from all of them
Just to see if I can repair this wretched heart