How am I supposed to feel?. Facing my own mortality, like an unwelcome stranger. Lying just beyond the edge of my thoughts, waiting.

Will things change so much, or very little? Where is the moment that decides the direction?. Looking at some obscure image on a screen?. I'm trying to decipher it like an MD.

Laughing at the thought.

All the things I'm reaching for suddenly seem insignificant. What's important is now. The people you love, they are the ones that matter. Cherish them. What does it mean to have the world, and share it with no one? Back up..

Waiting…..

Prioritizing. Mortality is something everyone will face. What about God? Was my life designed before I was born? I think so.

Now. That's all I have. My dreams and goals have become most important. Not because I need to accomplish them, but, because they are what defines me. I am a unique soul, with a unique purpose.

Maybe it's decided already. I will let that stranger in...Uncertainty.
I lean in for the kiss of welcoming. Asking for clarity to understand, and accept.

In that moment, I embrace the life I have, and pray to the God I know.
Life will go on after I'm done.
In the end what matters is how well we loved,how fully we lived, and how deeply we let go.

Randy McPeek