“You seem quiet today,” they say.
I reply, “Oh, I’m okay.”
My lies come out hasty
That’s just how it’s been lately

I think she can tell I’m not just fine
The problem is that my head and my heart don’t align
Even then, I just wish I could tell someone
My heart says to talk but my head says to run

My heart feels sad and heavy
Instead, I should feel steady
My head thinks the sadness is all a mistake
I just feel like such a fake

These things make me hurt but
I feel vain in my gut
Others have it so, so much worse
But here I go feeling as if I’m under some curse

Maybe that’s why I can’t talk about it
Does this make me a counterfeit?
It’s like I don’t have the right to be sad
For all of my blessings, I should be glad

I search for love and care and from some, it unfolds
My mom’s heart hurts from my dad but their marriage still holds
My grandpa has health problems but he is still here
I still talk to my friends even after they disappear

There’s something inside of me that I can’t see
I don’t like this different side of me
There is so much conflict going on
Maybe that’s why I’m always withdrawn

It’s like I don’t know who I am anymore
Inside my head and my heart I just can’t explore
I’ve isolated myself to a major degree
Now my isolation is what defines me