My biggest fear,
I realized after drinking,
Was probably
Not being loved the same way I love.

Maybe I was terrified
Of giving too much
That people can't even give me
Even just the slightest love

Or maybe I was scared
Scared that I gave a lot of myself
To others
But they didn't want any.

Maybe I was scared of rejection.

Maybe I'm terrified of being alone
Alone, lost in my thoughts,
Unsafe with myself, and
A high risk of hurting myself.

I hate my self.