if i could put a name
to the feeling of breaking the surface
after being underwater
it would rival euphoria
a phoenix reborn
from the ashes of a past life
taking a breath
of cool winter air
after a lifetime of drowning

in the quiet moments
where i no longer feel
like i am gasping for
every ragged shred of
air in my lungs
and for once feel
whole and untainted
by my own head
i close my eyes and
whisper my thanks into
the frosted air
telling the girl in the mirror
that i am proud of her
and she has done so well

i spend my silent moments
far away from home
on winding mountain roads
and with the wind
whipping through the
open car windows
pulling my hair into wild disarray
around my flushed face
i tighten my hands on the wheel
and as i break the crest
of the mountain
and watch as the setting sun
rises in reverse against
the falling horizon
i feel like i am flying
spreading wings to the western skies
no longer weighed down by waves and sea spray
and as i break the surface
i fill my lungs and say
on a steady exhale:

i am alive