I think I’m addicted to pain.
Not my own, mostly others.
It hurts to hurt them though,
I just cant help myself…
I fall in love too quickly,
Then back out just as fast.
Like they meant nothing,
Like we were nothing.
I’m not myself like this,
If I was it wouldn’t hurt,
Id feel happy hurting,
But I don’t, not at all.
Maybe I should run,
Get out while I still can.
Or maybe I should tell you,
Tell you to leave, to turn and go.
This poem has no rhythm,
But its the most honest I’ve been,
I’m a ******* mess sometimes,
But maybe thats the point,
I suffer, because others suffer
And I guess thats my fault.
I am lying to myself,
And that means I lie to you.
I say what I don’t mean,
But in that moment, its true.
I wish I never thought that.
I cant love if I cant love myself.
Maybe that’s my problem…
I’m sorry if I hurt you,
Deep down, I do love you.
Deep down, I am sorry.