Everything is going to ****.
My body is breaking down, my mind is heavy
And my heart is slouching behind it all.
For the first time, I welcome these pains and I don't block them out -
This is the first time that I'm feeling bad because of my body
Rather than because of the bad things inflicted upon me from other people
And I realize that there are two kinds of personal pain
And I don't know which one is more suffocating or if they're equal
But, for right now, it feels like I'm breathing in
Harsh, clean winter air
Rather than humid, murky vapor.