I wake up everyday, fix myself up and put my binder on. I make sure i look masculine enough with my button up shirt and skinny jeans on.
I wish i was like all the other boys that walk down the hall at school. Flat chested, tall, fit, strong with a deep voice. But instead I'm a C cup, short, small with a squeaky voice and get called a lesbian all the time.
How do people go to the toilet in public, i start getting a panic attack just thinking about it.
I can’t even go a day without freaking out, because someone said ‘she’.
I look down at myself…
god why am i like this, why can’t i be normal.
I want a flat chest, so i don’t come home with aching ribs everyday, struggling to breathe.
I want a deep voice, so i don’t get called a 12 year old girl.
I want to be tall, so i don’t get pushed and shoved to the floor.
I want to be masculine so it doesn’t feel like I'm getting stabbed in the chest from being misgendered.
All the other guys i see walking down the halls at school, are proud and happy, they don’t get told “but you still look like a girl” or get called she, or the wrong name. So why can’t i be like them, perfect and handsome.
Why can’t i just be me and be happy..
Why..why..why..
-Tyler Miller