repeat it over and over
“try”

what you don’t realize is that
I am trying
it may not look like it
but that’s cause I don’t know how

my trying is not good enough
but it’s all I got
so I guess I’m the only one
to blame for how I feel

I’m not good enough
I can’t do this
I’ve never been able to do this
only now has it become necessary
for survival

“you have to try Linsey”
oh ya thank you that helps
it just pushes it further
that I am trying but
I’m just failing

give me something
to hold onto
I need a crutch
even though it’s “unhealthy”

I think this,
this being alone all the time
through no fault but my own
is becoming my biggest enemy
becoming my death