for every pierced ear on
every ******* planet earth,
i can count another reason why
i am not like them.
they say i just haven't found my place yet,
but they don't know
i've had the map backwards my whole life
i'm lost the way a shoe on the side of the highway is lost
i'm the crack in the wall
that your mother covered with a painting
i'm the bulb in a string of lights
that burned too bright and flickered and died
i've been sitting on my emotions for so long
they're only pins and needles now
nobody screamed when
i asked the world to forget about me
like when you say something in a crowded room
and nobody even looks at you
all i have to do is ask myself  for
a way out; look myself in the eye
and say, "it doesn't have to be this way,"
i think about last november
that day i lost blood in the bathtub
as the water got colder
and i keep my mouth shut
but i think that i am cursed
to walk through life with glass
in my eyes, and i'll get my
ride in a hearse before i
am twenty-five.
there's shrapnel and
pieces of old photographs inside
every scar on my left arm.
dirt and grime
from the last five places i've lived reside
inside every canyon carved.
all i want is for somebody to
look into the hollow sockets of my head and
see me
but i don't think i need a heart to
sleep next to the hole in my
chest, i just need to put
this thing to rest