What would I say to that boy so young? Full of life, imagination and drive How could I tell him what his mind would become? Full of dread, anxiety and no pride How did I end up like this? A question I asked so many times Swallowing pills just to exist What kind of life does that make mine?
It got worse when I moved to London Down every day but more work to do My room became a dungeon A city so big, but so few people to turn to My mindset had rapidly sunken Quick fix of drugs and cans of special brew But the drugs that I kept on munching Sent me further away from that child I once knew
Weeks had past and not one day spent studying Not a care in the world. Not even a thought in my head When I ended up in hospital is when it got worrying Admitting to my parents felt like the hardest step So many times in one day I had to explain, when I really felt like scurrying It was then I realized that admitting to myself was actually the hardest step I packed my bags and ran from that city, no one could stop me from hurrying If I’d have stayed in that place for any longer, I fear I would have ended up dead
I was home at last, back where I belonged Even if i was in debt, with a failed degree I got a job in a kitchen that was oh so long But I had family and friends all around me It was then I met the girl I loved, the feeling was so strong Every time I saw her my heart skipped a beat I suddenly felt free But she was already spoken for, obviously I was wrong I crawled back inside the cave I knew so well, with no one else but me
Over a year has passed I now live in a one bed flat But with a bed thats big enough for two That skinny druggy boy has gone and now I’m actually a bit fat But happier than ever with you know who That girl from before was unhappy like me, her relationship made her sad We’ve been together ever since, I’m stuck to her like glue The pills from the doctor sure help when times are bad But Sarah nothing helps as much as you
What I would say to that boy oh so young Is don’t worry about talking when times get hard Sure drugs and alcohol seem like cheap fun But they just paint over the cracks, don’t let go of your guard Look at the positives and when you need help don’t run When it seems like it will never get better, you feel permanently scarred But those wounds do heal, never feel like life is done Just take a deep breath and carry on
First poem written by and about myself. No corrections or edits. Just written as I thought of it. The poem is based on a very difficult time in my life.