The first time a pigeon lands on your head you WILL have conflicting feelings. These consist of, "this is a magical experience" and "please don't **** on me".

But if you stay calm, interested, determined, and lucky you may build a beautiful relationship.

Mayhaps on the chance, you did get pooped on. A torturous smear on your shirt is a valuable resource to a 17th-century European farmer. It is up to you decide if you want to be that farmer.

And lastly, if two parties of the columbiform do agree to the terms and conditions, they can form a lasting relationship.

That is what I hope to have done with you, my pigeon.
Yours Truly,
~Squab