New year, new school,
new class, new rule.
Everything again,
the same old pain.

Darkness, my old friend,
I thought I've put an end.
I thought you were gone,
I thought there was none.

Again, I'm wrong,
for me there's no happy song.
Same pain in my chest
never lets me rest.

'Smile when you're happy.
Smile to be happy.'
That's what they say,
but that's not the way.

Always smiling,
but inside I'm dying.
So sick of pretending to be alright.
There's nothing to hold on tight.

'You'll be OK, it will be fine.'
When's the question, when's that time?
Soon I'll break down,
it may happen before the dawn.

So ashamed of myself,
the fat pathetic self.
Can't even look in the mirror,
always needing a pillow.

I never cry.
The trick is to try
to hide everything in you,
to never bother with your view.

Brother, sister and family,
they all keep it happily.
Cheerful and energetic,
not like me - pathetic.

Only music succeeds,
my dark thoughts beats.

#depressed #sad #pathetic #shame #fat