searching through the pages,
reaching for the faded, hate it,
when the words speak back to me,


a room full of empty spaces,
there's this gloom inside of me,
and i hate it, wait for it, don't say it,
there's a world where it will forever be

every thought you whisper,
there's a place and time
to rot and wither,
don't mind the intrusion,
there's no illusion, only
confusion and this winter,

no delusion for the sinner,

if there's a she,
fill her

if there's a he,
**** her

don't do the math,
you'll go mad, don't look at
the man in the mirror,
there's nothing to understand,

what's gold will glitter
what's good will trigger
what's god fill figure out,
how to deal with dealers,

how to steal from stealers
there's no way to know about,
if we'll ever manage to heal her,
now that there's no dealer,

and we can't deal her,
what if he needs her ?

the man's age is not
what kills the *******,
the face can fade, can fake,
but not fool the reader,

there's so much to forsake,
you're so mistaken, if you think
you've taken more than you can
make, there's no heaven,

they don't tell,
but there's no hell

nobody left here to sell
no god nor satan,

so be lost or search for
a safe haven, there's this
urge inside of me to purge,
to lust and love, to ****** the
order and trust my imagination,

i want to feel the rush,
there's nothing as such, as much,
as a touch of annihilation,

there's more to the equation,
my mind is done with invasions

i need something more to grow
in this winter, something sinister,
to sow them seeds and linger,


to know when to bleed and
trick her, she already knows
too much so, breaker-
break her, he wasn't made for her,
so, take her, taker, give her back,
no giver, grieve for her,
don't leave her,

paint her, oh, painter-
paint her black,
if you breathe her,
she'll just make you sad,
don't treat her bad,
she's a reaper, she'll reap you
in pieces,

so let go and don't feed it,
don't feel it, you'll get used to it,
get confused by it, you'll know
when to get abused by it,
you'll know when to let yourself
be fooled by it, in a heart-beat,
only to repeat it,

the pain don't keep it,
the name, burn it,
if you see something strange
learn it, you won't earn ****,
but at least the leash won't be
on it, on here, on my neck,

on air, speaking torment,
screaming scared-
sacred fears and lies, with
fractured lips and eyes,

say hate and die
so, wait and pry-

don't burn the pages
don't turn the spaces
there's nothing in-between,


this world, it's faded-
my eyes red, and so sedated,
my head filled with smoke,
oh, how much i hate it-
when i start to lose control,
to find, nothing had ever been,

and it was all a dream,

there's always something
to scream,
there's always a place for me
to linger,
these words, they ink on me,
and i wither,

of all that they say to me, they
don't mean, what they seem-
as they whisper,

spring and winter,
they just don't talk

with all that love untold,
kept in a box of a paradox,

stop.

rot.

triggered.