this is how it happens it's the last day the temperature will be above thirty-two degrees Fahrenheit until February you're not looking at the date it's just the end of November the middle of the night in the middle of a road at the end of November the hum of this small town hurts your ears you're stuck in a dream where everything you see turns into a weapon this is how it happens you knocked back sharp, amber liquid to make this place feel a little more okay and it only worked halfway no matter how soft the edges are you bruise your hips when you run into them in the dark you're ******* on your fourth cigarette when a police officer pulls over and asks how you're doing today in the too-bright white of the headlights the sick taste of Red Stag sticks to the roof of your mouth the mouth that you're moving into a smile the mouth exhaling plumes of smoke at the ground you're okay "i'm okay." you don't tell him what you're really doing you're really taking all of your thoughts about stopping your pulse for a walk you don't tell him you've been chasing ambulances all night long please, officer don't leave me alone, you don't say he tells you to have a good night and drives away and this is how it happens the moon smiles at you with every single one of its tiny, sharp teeth nobody but your cat finds you in that bathtub nobody but your cat watches you rise from red water watches it drip drip drip from every chasm carved in your left arm nobody but your cat saw the soft animal of your soul shiver from the cold that day it's the first day the temperature dropped below thirty-two degrees Fahrenheit inside your chest