And the worst thing about it
Was that despite what I told myself
I still considered it my fault
I fell so easily for those disgusting excuses
Men use to justify harm done to women

I thought of how I answered the call
Forever worried about how the voice
I use on the phone just to sound pleasant
Could be misconstrued to be
"a ******* operator's voice"

The truth is
It didn't matter what I said
Or how I said it
Nothing I did would deflect the abuse
Because that decision was made
Outside of my control

(but nothing I tell myself will stop the pain)