I wonder if he knows,
after he died
I went digging for him.

How sad it is
for someone to exist forever
and still be gone.
Should this be seen,
I have loved you most in death.
More beautiful somehow,
some ethereal,
natural sense
of serendipity
and I still
did not wade into the river.
I was scared of what I might find.

Part of me
wishes we had gone together.
Our hands
rot into each other.
I become you
becoming earth.
Now that I miss you,
I see you more everyday/

I know
if these words are in the world now,
you and I have both passed.
I hope we are reunited somewhere.
Clasping fingers,
touching lips,
where
every day
it is New Years Eve.