Once, on vacation, my friend and I journaled about
Where we saw ourselves 5 years from then.
I didn't think once of you.
Or him either.

I envisioned wooden floors,
A single toothbrush,
My mug collection
And a King size bed that
Only my body lies on.

My closet filled with button downs,
And in the back of it,
A box with the
Burnt matches that
Ignited every pain
In my young adult-hood.

I end up getting a dog,
Because they're
Guaranteed to be loyal,
And because sometimes its
Scary living alone in a big city.

My journals are filled with stories
Of failure
Pages of declarations
Of frustration and of hope.

My window sill a comfortable seat
Because every morning I make sure
To see the sky
To remind myself that the world is mine.
That I am mine.

My body and soul
Ache, but just a little,
Not as much as it does now.

My tattoos as meaningful as ever
My truths as prevalent.

For once in my life,
Perceptions others have of me
Became irrelevant.

On my table there's flowers,
Flowers from the shop down the street,
Singlehandedly picked by me.

An ashtray I made in a week-long art class,
A movie collection
Because it makes me feel okay
For any lack of affection.

I envision myself unapologetic,
A trait I finally mastered
And maybe i'm not too ******* myself
Maybe I finally got it together.

5 years from then,
I'm not thinking of you,
Or him.
Freedom is a concept I finally
Learned,
After years of unsaid emotion,
I got the life of pleasant solitude I
So rightfully earned.