I saw her from a distance
Her evident difference
alarmed me for a moment
My eyes hidden behind glasses
made split second assessments
My confusion in this place of fitting in
was considerable, unknown to me

I saw in her hand the cigarette burning
Her fat perfectly rounded belly held
and wrapped in red flowering
frilly and flowing dress
It was hiked up at the front
showing pudgy white blotchy skin
the time for babies was long behind her
We moved closer toward each other

Her difference and indifference grew
I noticed her saunter with unstable gait
Her long dried out died blond hair
Her own attempt at glamour stood out
The mismatched colours, the loose layers
and the string of large yellow beads
wrapped around her goitre throat
Her eyes gazing downwards
We were going to pass soon
I knew she was different

It was surprising and unexpected in this place so the same
I was unprepared in those seconds left to pass
Thoughts and feeling arose and changed
Those thoughts and feelings are mine to question

"Good morning"

And on the wind the smell of old cheap perfume
and cigarette smoke, delicious
Reminding me of who I was before
Of a far away time brought to mind
by that perfect mix of smoky chemicals
a place with happy memories
a place I longed to return to
my youth

I was left with a realisation
Our desire can lead us down a one way path
This one dimension forbidding alternatives
Designating an end point
A reminder not to forget who you were, is who you are now
Made from pasts both good and bad
To celebrate our differences