A puppet for your release

The first conscious breath of morning
A tiny sweet yawn to welcome the day
A long stretch under the sheets to feel my bones that already ache for you

Many hours to be filled before you arrive yourself to me
I lie still and the beauty of your not-so-handsome face appears in my heart
I adore you and your rough behaviour
Your heart cares nothing for mine
Yet mine wants to wrap yours up and show it that I am worth more

That look you send to my core when all you see me as
is a vessel
The desperate want you have to fill me up
I wonder if you close your eyes and think of her
Then I wonder not
You wouldn’t have been so rough
So dismissive of her
You loved her

Yet still
The excitement begins to creep from my heart and crawls down between my thighs
My yearning for you comes from a part of me of which I do not understand
You are all that is wrong
You leave me feeling incomplete
When all I yearn for is completion

My day will fill with any distraction
Deep breaths to prevent my pounding heart
Deep meditation to try and
Understand why I let myself
Be used
One text and you’ve cancelled
Just a puppet for your release