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Oct 2017
Deflate me, break me, rearrange and stake me.  Throw me between the earth's plates and let the quake take me.  Shake me, drag a rake across my face.  Anything to get feeling, blast me into space.

Hang me by interpretations before claiming forgetful.  Squint through your scope attempting to hit soul, but blinded are we giving in to our egos.  It's your fault it's my fault, taunts haunt the physical shell.  I'm acquainted with heaven and still take part in hell.  Attitudes beyond words can cast malicious spells.  Is it coming from a singular source, it's really ******* hard to tell.  I don't even know who to talk to when I'm not feeling well.  Set up traps for self and swiftly fell.  Here I am again, cross-legged at the bottom.  Want nothing more than to transcend and blossom.  Maybe I'll be found as nothing more than a fossil.  No biological functions or need for a role model.  Into the infinite where all things are possible.  It is my intention to let go and heal through astral projection.  Strange how things can seem so hollow in this 3rd dimension.  I want to see past holograms and move forward beyond fear.  Body still warm into the night I disappear.

It feels like all I'm gonna be for Halloween is depressed.  No need for a purchase which at this point is certain debt.  I wanna show my insides, peer past the pigments of flesh.  Is everything coming together or apart, my head is a mess.  Ego got me thinking certain ways as if possessed.  When I only wanna speak from the ***** in my chest.  A costume that shows what you are on the inside, dead.  Dry bones resting on a cobwebbed throne, with crown upside down pressed into my dome.  King of nothing other than this holy temple with holes poked through the face with the sharpest of pencils.  I offer payment for my strangeness in the form of two words, let go.  Took my first breath on the day of the dead, coincidence?  Oh no.  Look through eye holes to the back of my skull.  Pushed as far as I thought I could go, only to know I needed to pull.  Cup was full of luke warm contents.  Why do conversations morph into a blind rage contest?  I jumped into the depths and tried to befriend the loch Ness.  It was conditioned to it's living and saw me as more stress.  I just thought I needed someone with whom I could decompress.  Lesson learned I swam away shouting "blessed!" with no regrets I sat in the cemetery among the lifeless. Only to remind us all about being timeless. 
Take a breath.

We must steam-clean the rugs that we pray on in our dreams
Lest we forget to address the inaudible screams
Tar pit vocals get you stuck on words said
Yet My essence is stronger than my coffee and cigarette breath.
I walk a thin line between wanting to call upon spirit guides, and not wanting to waste their time.
Who is speaking, me or some form of you glued to my mind?
I feel undefined in a world so categorized
Still trying to heal my blindness to the light that shines
Stretch through confines and decompress the spine
I make my way from the grave after ridding stressful expressions through rhyme
Again falling in lines with life
Say goodbye to the plight, and keep the dreams in sight - peace/goodnight

Silence...a moment with self, because from no other can the answers be dealt.  It's nice to get help, but within you is informational untapped wealth.  Can't keep riding down this avenue, for, with what I believe in, in the long run it'd be untrue.  Excuses are for those who refuse to cope.  A life led in that direction without reflection will only stumble to crash from a downhill *****.  Simply existing is genuinely resisting the life that could be.  Slave to the system, and slave to your mind, are you ever going to be free?

Is anybody listening, or rather glistening from contentment?  In a future time don't look back upset with where the years went.  Be true and think through how it is you want the currency spent.  Some people keep kicking in the wrong direction never really ever leaving a dent.  Is this just to vent, or to better human nature?  Chances are, by tomorrow, it won't even be remembered - reminding me again the time is now to savor -  get going creator, show the world your flavors.
A collection from a year ago.  Doom and gloom for the holiday season.
RyanMJenkins
Written by
RyanMJenkins  29/M/MKE,WI
(29/M/MKE,WI)   
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