first, you will try to recollect the way i smile the lines that my eyes make and the light that shines through them the way i squint when i try to read letters that are far too small the different wavelengths of laughter the sneaky one when the politician i voted for won against yours the sarcastic one when i insult your favorite football team
then you will try to remember the way i ate the mess i made when i tried to gather rice in my hands the smile when all of you were not too happy about the mess
then you will remember when i stopped using my walking stick and when it hurt to walk
then you will realize you can't remember if my favorite sarong is checkered or plain if it was indigo or brown was it silk, was it cotton?
then you will realize that the newspaper company you still subscribe to, in memory of me - has shut down then you will realize my favorite tv show has aired its season finale, and they're not available online then you will realize my optician no longer makes lenses to the glasses i used to wear then you will realize the wooden chair i used to live in has shattered