Some days you win and other days you chalk up to a good try.
I've gotten so good at pushing thru the hard times that it takes me a minute to remember the last time it was good
I keep telling myself just get thru this day this week even just this moment.
Hold your breath and hold it tight
Count to 10 three times and exhale
Visualize lifting the house off your chest and breathing deeply
Silence your erratic heartbeat
Count the ticks of the ceiling fan and concentrate solely on that sound.
Close your eyes and don't imagine his lips
Imagine the wind blowing thru an open field on a summer morning.
Press your hand against the coolness of the wall
Just keep breathing.
I am bearing too much weight
I cannot support myself and the world on shoulders that crumble and shake with tears when I am alone
I am breaking inside and I can't catch a break
The desire to flee grows stronger as the moments pass
As I convince myself it's not a bad life it's just a bad day but how many times can I tell myself that before it is no longer a consolation
I'm working towards getting a better day I am not sitting around knitting socks for my tired feet. I am putting one foot in front the other, I am plastering one more smile in place, I am saying "yes, of course. That's fine. No problem" when inside I'm screaming
It's too much and I cannot find a reprieve