" hello? "

I ask as I open the black door.

Silence greets me kindly
Letting me in so gentlemanly.

School bag off.
Get a snack.
School back on.

I march the stairs
Sounding like an xylophone
Creaking away as I charge
I reach the top.
My bedroom door is shut
Locking my art and poems away
Never to be heard or seen
By family or friends
But strangers on the media

I open the door.
My sofa has a blanket of clothes
My floor covered with magazines
To be destroyed and cut up
Into a more stranger yet beautiful
Type of art, a collage of photos
Of famous people and models
Taken by famous photographers
Who's names are unknown to me.
Maybe I'll join the list someday
But who knows?

I slip off my socks and shoes
Rip off my prison uniform
Sorry, meant school
But it's a prison to me in my mind

I armour myself with band shirts
A pair of tie-dye shorts
And I'm barefoot
So I feel like I'm walking on grass

I take my snack, a scone
A cup of tea
A packet of crisps*
And settle down onto my bed

My bed isn't like your bed
It's a bunk bed
No one sleeps on top
My brother used to
But he left me be
And I use its banister
As a railing for my own curtain
To hide my own bed
Hide away my emotions
Hide me and cover me
As I sleep

Silence greets me again
It rests upon me as I start to write
My poems and stories

No one to bother me
No one to hurt me
No one to pressure me
No one to get me down

The only sound is
My grandmother's TV
Did I mention she lives with me?
Don't worry, she loves me
She wouldn't tell a secret
Like I don't tell hers

The sound of my breathing
The sounds from my phone
Blasting music through my room
The sounds of the wind
A nearby train
Cars passing by

The peace is shattered
So I wave it goodbye
The front door cracks open

" hello? "

My mother calls.

" are you ok? "

" I'm fine! "

I reply with a fake smile
Even though she can't see
My frown of disappointment

I needed to be alone more