Don’t ask me where my mind is
It has sworn me to secrecy,
Instructed that I shut it in a case
And hide it away from view.
All I am left is a dark expanse -
Blind nothingness
Stretching on and on.
I am a fish never to be landed,
Hooked on a line and pulled
As if drifting to far galaxies.
A pointless mission on a loop
With nothing in between,
No planets or stars
No life
No light.
Situational dormancy.

I think I see a light in the distance,
Or a spark
That flickers for a second
Then recedes again into the dark.
A flame where no fire exists
Snuffed and suffocated
Within clenched fists.

The sheets soak up the sweat
And in the morning it is always cold.
I am alone.
I go to the case and try its lock
But my mind is adamant,
It is not ready for me yet,
I am an annoyance to it.
I am left to self administer,
To self heal -
A lesser seen form of self harm.
I am a fish that has slipped its hook
But not one that is free,
One that is lost, a dead planet
No light
No life.
The nighttime is always cold.

The light flickers again
But I am too late to see it.
A moment of heat, I feel its presence
Then return to inspirational vacancy
Where time in space is ever missed,
A beginning where beginnings end,
An end where no beginning exists

Copyright Marc Hawkins 2016